I can't survive with dead memories in my heart

Yes I Allison, is quoting a slipknot song. Surprised aren't you. Thought you knew me huh. Thought I didn't listen to that kind of music.

I'm starting to think people really don't care what I have to say at all. I'm like a piece of driftwood in an ocean and everybody I know is standing on the shore laughing and joking with eachother with their backs to the water. It doesn't matter if I have something really important to say, or if it's small and insignificant. They don't care. My mom and dad are the only ones who listen to me at all. If I have to tell anyone ever again that my only day off is sunday I will scream. So if it's not sunday and I'm not at one job I'm at the other. And saturday is the only day I work both jobs. How hard is that to understand.

I can see that my personality is changing. I'm usually telling people I know everything that's been happening to me. But I haven't been doing that. Nobody at the bank or even Tammy knows about Adam at seaway. Shannon and Jackie M knows. But like all my text messages to Tammy. I noticed that she use to send me the same stupid messages til she got with Adam. I just love how friends are the most important part of your life untill you find a guy to replace them with. At least with this friend we are still able to be friends. We still try to hang out once a week. But I am getting sick of being treated this way. I have to remind myself that she knows I work all the time and that she probably figures thats what I'm busy doing. But tonight is saturday night and she would usually see what I'm doing, I predict she won't be calling me. Also tonight they are celebrating Dennis' birthday, I have yet to be invited.

Adam, there isn't much to say about him so far I guess. I think he's intrested. But I don't know. I haven't been very happy feeling, which everybody has noticed, so when I talk to Adam it doesn't seem like I'm intrested. I don't even know if I am. It might best be said that I am willing to settle for him. Sad, I know. I think it would be msotly intresting to be dating a guy named Adam. Cuz Shannon has her Adam, Tammy has an Adam, and then so would I. It would be like the twilight zone or something. I think I might need him though. Someone to help keep me alive. I'm looking for someone to keep me from drowning.